GRUSH.

These girls make me feel sick

Each day i think about you gets a little harder. I start a routine of glancing at your photos on my bed side table and cry at them for hours. I then make sure I stop before she walks in the door and asks what's wrong with me. I need to stop but I can't! Everyday seems like a never ending circle of love and hatred. I confuse myself by feeling emotions one after another and don't think them through. I need to stop thinking your going to come and take me back because I know dreams never come true no matter how many birthday cake candles you wish on or how many eyelashes you throw.

2011

I'm can't believe how fast this years gone- it's 2011 in a few weeks and I HAVE to get my life sorted in that year. No doubt about it. I also need to
- Lose some weight or look a little more slimmer at least
- Start a future collage
- Get my gcse's better than they are because at the moment I'm failing every subject
- Start caring more about other people because I'm too selfish for my own good
- Commit to a relationship where both people ACTUALLY love one another
- Start realizing who really means alot to me and get close to people I actually want to get close to
- Buy a bunch of clothes and re-do the whole of my wadrobe
- Start getting my act together
- Get a decent job. Make some money and spend that money on junk that i didn't realize I needed
- Cut down on chocolate
- Attend a gig/fashion show
And finally make it the best year I have ever had!

STEPHANIE NIELSON

Stephanie Nielson and her husband, Christian were flying across arizona when their plane crashed, exploding on impact. The pilot died suffering from fatal injuries. To this day stephanie has burns on 80% of her body yet she still manages to look beautiful. I can't imagine how much this lady has dealt with and it's beyond me how she still manages to carry on with daily life, this makes me think how much were lucky to be who we are, this lady IS one of the most amazing, courageous and outstanding woman i have ever seen.

WE.CAN.BE.HEROES

'Make me up and dress me down'

'I don't believe that makeup is rocket science or a cure for cancer', i believe that makeup is benefiting a lack of confidence or self belief, makeup should be about enhancing a woman's features.

currently obsessing over PRINGLES

why are pringles so obsessive? i ALWAYS think about eating a few then eat the whole tube, that's when i can get my hand down the tube.

'OH THE WEATHER'

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

gotta say these kids are the coolest kids around right now

MILITARY.STYLE.

Nautical's out and military style is huge this season featuring khaki greens and washed out browns, you can't help but be obsessed with these styles. Parka's have also been introduced to this season, which can be worn with washed out jeans and a pair of military boots like these from allsaints.com for a respectable $255

I AM OBSESSED.

3 Wishes

1.I wish i could work in disneyland every summer - I would sneak onto every ride and make sure i get at least 10 rounds on space mountain.

2.I wish there was such thing as willy wonka`s chocolate factory - I wish we could live on wonka bars and there were such things as golden tickets.

3.I wish i was married to Chase Crawford - wouldnt that just be every girls dream? I am in complete awe of his looks. He`s a GOD.

Dance Like Nobodys Watching.

Sometimes i just feel like dancing - not the slow dancing in movies. Crazy - weird and expressive dancing. Maybe it`s in my blood? I have always wanted to be a dancer - I spent my childhood making up dances in the spare room and the living room. I wanted to be in riverdancer - I guess that`s dancing. I used to put on heels and tap around the kitchen whilst nobody was watching and then when my mum walked in - I used to stroll in them and quickly cover up the loss of breath. Truth is - I still take a glimpse at the riverdance documentary at tea time - I ocassionally sit and watch it for the whole of my tea time because that`s my time and that`s when i`m alone. When my mum walks in - I hide it. I exit to tv guide whilst making up a programme i watched at tea time. When my mother asks "what is that?" I hide it, It`s often something silly like CBBC or Disney channel. I suppose i`m more secretive about things like this than others - I`m shy to really admit i am completely obsessed with river dance and dance all together.



"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire" - George Bernard Shaw.

ALL.I.WANT.RIGHT.NOW.

Romper - Merci Liberty Limited Edition/Oversized Sunglasses - Emmanuelle Khanh/Earrings - Miss Selfridge/Cut Off Denim Gilet - Topshop/Nail Polish - China Glaze/Sandals - Unknown.

Guess what? I signed up to polyvore which means i can post delicious outfits like this more often, Pretty exciting huh?! I am completely obsessed with the peach summer look at the moment - I will definately be wearing rompers and sandals this summer. Too bad i don`t have any money to buy the sandals and denim jacket above - I suppose you have to be rich to even dream of spending £60 on a denim gilet. I`m gonna keep drooling for now. *LOVES*

*SIGH*

I hate hate hate feeling fat, one day i AM going to look as skinny as erin wasson. I AM going to fit into size 0 even if people call me anorexic. I feel chubby, it annoys me when people call me skinny but i have never felt that way. It`s always been a secret of mine - i have been underweight for so many years - i guess low weight is in my blood but seriously - wanna know something?! I have such a big tummy. I can tell you now i don`t look anything like this GOD below.



There must be some machine where you can transport someones body onto your own? THERE HAS TO BE!

I heart how the sun makes everyone happier. It honestly makes everyone cheery which means less arguments. I am proud to say i haven`t had as many rows with my mother these past few days, i`m proud because there can never be a minute silence in our house and for once, i smiled without automatically shouting at my mum for staring at me. I hate family rows, I wish it was sunny everyday. maybe we should move here?
YES PLEASE?! MUMMMMMMM?!

Today

Sometimes i just feel like crying - today was one of those days. It lasted for about half an hour where i actually didn`t think of anyone or anything but my family and what they are doing right now. I forgot about myself and all my worries and actually think about people who i love. I`m pretty stuck up and i`ll admit that- the only people i care about are myself, my brother and my mum and thats it. I guess once you loose something you can`t get back - you think about them more than anyone else. Todays confusing - it`s sunny and beautiful outside but i feel sad and upset. i`m so silly.

Obsession

I HONESTLY THINK I`M GETTING A MINATURE GIRL CRUSH ON ALEXA CHUNG.



Not only for her boyish charming character and looks but because she seems the most down to earth model i have ever seen. Have i mentioned she always looks absolutely stunning? She never ever dresses awful and i have never seen her without her hair, nails and makeup done. Absolutely UNREAL. I honestly want to be her.

Dreams Part 1

I hope to live in a house big enough for all of us. Not fancy or fake, something that will reflect our personalities and make it look like we actually live in it. With objects scattered around the floor and a neatly and perfectly planned garden.



I hope that everyone will get on with my daughter. She wont be picked on because she`s small and round and i hope she will learn from mummy to tell people she dosen`t actually like them.

I hope to have a kitchen that is lively and inviting, not like a show house. I want functional and homely.



I hope to braid my daughters hair and style it however she wants it and when she asks "how come my hair dosen`t fit into bunches mummy?" i will simply reply with "everyones different, i think everyone will be jelous of your short hair"



I hope to spend my weekends being the proud mum at football matches, playing with barbies and building massive forts with pillows and our favourite blanket, Baking buns and making the kitchen unbelievably messy and when my husband walks in i will simply say "want to help lick the bowl out?"

I want to have cute yellow curtains and squeeky wood floors.

I want to keep a record of the things my children do, a journal full of funny things they have said, lessons in life. I want them to always remember how special their childhood was and never forget that it`s only a book away.



I want them to realise that it dosen`t hurt to dream, wether they get picked on for building lego houses at school or dressing up as a fireman. I want them to realise that they can be anything they want to be if they truly put their mind to it.

I hope to be a connected family who lives life to the full. Not at all perfect. I hope to create a house full of fun and inspiration and want my children to feel safe to be what they want to be without anyone actually guiding them into what they dont want to be.

I am completely inspired by the 70`s, Without the 70`s we wouldnt have this funky pattern which was neatly placed in kitchens and living rooms up and down britain.



Movies like superman and grease you could see again and again - nothing beats tuning on the dvd player and seeing a hunky man in a superman likra suit or for the men - Olivia newton john sporting her black classic tight suit.Grease was definately the highlight of my childhood - I was/am always a sucker for romance movies even if i`ll never admit it to my friends. Grease is the perfect film where i can cry over past heartbreaks. sad but true.

And although not much of a rock god myself - Led zeppelin created rock history - with their afro hairstyles and crazy guitair solos. Boys in this era went wild at the sight of this band.Everybody looked up to them but as of now - cheeky rock boys in my classes have been seen sporting a led zeppelin or AC/DC pencil case. Pretty neat huh?!

Even though the 70`s was eccentric and over the top - it seemed inspiring and fun.My mother tells me kind stories about her life as a 70`s a kid and i seriously am jelous.Born in the 90`s - I didnt get to taste the feeling of space dust on your tounge - of the flavour of SPAM. but i sure wish i did.

Image taken from google search - inspired by hestons 70`s feast.

I live for fridays

Fridays are the best creations ever - the end of a long week and the beginning of the weekend. I also live for the weekends too - who dosent? Fridays mean relaxing - favourite lessons and staying up late, i love that. I love how fridays are special days - there is only one day of the week you can be excitited about, iheartfridays - i especially heart this friday as I`M GOING TO THE HAIRDRESSES TOMMOROW! wohoo! beyond excited - i seriously need it. I need a good trim so i dont look like i have been dragged through a bush backwards and maybe a few layers too make it look super dooper cute to look at. I might even get a fringe to mess with. who knows?!

I Heart You

There are days when all i think about is you, what you are doing at this moment in time. I sometimes wonder if you ever think about what i look like and where i live but then i realise, i wasn`t all that important to you. You didn`t love me like i loved you. Years have past and i miss you more than the world and even though you can`t be here today, your still in my heart and will be forever and ever. I miss you.

Inspiration

The 90`s have been over for almost 10 years and fashion-wise, vintage 90`s is coming back in. As is the showy cropped top which was in fact popular with bright shorts and boots in this decade.Celebrities such as Whitney Port and Alexander Wang have been spotted in short cropped tops.To me cropped tops are for laying around in the house with some primark leggings but i don`t find it cute when lindsay Lohan sports a green cropped top on a night out.


Lindsay Lohan, An Alexander Wang model, Audrina Patridge, and Whitney Port wearing crop tops.

Dear curly hair,
I really need to say i`m sorry to you. I brush you everyday and i make you frizzy which dosen`t make you look nice.I burn you into straight hair and everybody says i should stop because i`m hurting you.So guess what? I decided to do you and i a massive favour and leave you curly after i get out of the shower or whatever. I`m so lucky i have curly hair. I must say you look pretty in this photo and you don`t normally look like this so thanks! for making me look darn cute today.I Heart You ♥

This actually makes me feel physically sick, ok so yeah i`m a little bit afraid of heights but when you see this picture. who isnt?!

I could honestly say when i grow up i want to marry a man who sounded just like christofer drew from the band never shout never. I`m not and never will be a sucker for acoustic sounds but i am absolutely in love with such unique songs. is it way too late to mention that he`s super duper cute?!
Christofer Drew Please Marry Me?

OH MY GOSH HOW BEAUTIFUL! absolutely obsessed with the Etoile 5-row pavé diamond band ring by tiffany and co.I have actually always been obsessed with tiffany. ever since my mum got a tiffany classic back in 2007.I`m such a girly girl and love all things sparkly.When we stepped into a tiffany store in London, I straight away asked how much a tiffany engagment ring was and i actually wowed at the price but i suppose engagment rings are something to cherish and should more importantly be sparkly and beautiful! The ring above is my favourite and i cant get the sparkliness out of my head. It`s UNREAL.
I wish i could say that about the pricing though
£10,900 for a ring! WHATTTTT?!

When i was little - i used to think i was going to have twin girls and call them daisy and lily and then the names changed. and then i would adopt a baby boy called max. I used to plan their rooms and google search cute outfits.I suppose you can never plan how many children you have. i dont mind if i end up with 12 children or none, I guess i would take it as it goes and the name definately would depend upon what i like at the time.Growing up in a house of babies , i would babysit all the time and dream about my babies , wether they would look like me, who the daddy would be and most importantly would they grow up knowing that i love them so much!
But if i could plan babies and sex or whatever. I would design their rooms to fit their needs.
Twin girls room

And Boys room - I absolutely adore this!

I`m seriously obsessed with these two. after googling lots i came to a conclusion. Lets just hope and pray i get a boy and twin girls huh hahahah.

I am completely and utterly in love with the new jack wills summer collection 2010. I dont think i have been so obsessed with a collection before and i have never liked every single thing in the collection shown on the website, But like always it`s way too expensive! I seriously would have to save up for a year to buy a whole set!:( still. keep dreaming right?

I could go back to here again and again , it seems like the only place where i can really be myself , where nobody knows me except the man in the 5th ave chocolate shop and the owner of the diner down the road.Sometimes i wish i could just run away , run to meet a nice boy who also shares the love for new York.I think i should say i left my heart in New York.

Easter

When I was little - Easter used to be about Jesus. We used to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ and thank god that we have Jesus to look up to. but times have changed and Easter funnily enough is all about Easter eggs and bunny`s , This for me is a time for swapping chocolate and waiting for the bunny to come and drop them off at our house. it`s weird how our celebrations have changed over the years , how we don't actually celebrate Jesus any more. I find it sad.
P.S how pretty are these little eggs?!

Dear Ben and jerry`s ice cream
When i`m sad i pick you up and your like my best friend for an hour or so.
your oh so delicious flavours like fish food and cookie dough make my mouth tingle.
and if you dare stop your delicious flavours , I `ll hunt your manufacturers down like those cheetah`s do in big cat diaries.
i love you. end of.♥